A month before I turned 40, I was having dinner with a girlfriend who was recently engaged to someone she met online only four months prior. While I wasn’t looking for a husband because I had been down that road before, I did want something real – not just someone who liked to “hang out.” My friend suggested that I revise my online profile to be authentic and speak from the heart. I told her that was a ridiculous idea because that wasn’t me – after all I wasn’t a yoga instructor or artist like my friend.
Four weeks later I was in South Africa celebrating my 40th birthday among the lions and elephants and cheetahs of the KwaZulu–Natal region. I was struck by how the conservation movement and the ecotourism industry were not only saving the wildlife, but they were also saving the villagers. Without these two industries working together with the locals, poaching could have a devastating economical impact on their towns and villages. Then I thought about my own life and how small it seemed in comparison to those on the front lines of the wildlife preservation work in South Africa.
While I was doing important work with small cats at a non-profit in Colorado, the reality was that I was burned out. Things were no better at home because not only did I lack a meaningful relationship, I was living with my ex husband and too many cats. I was also juggling extra jobs to keep the house afloat and to, ironically, spend as little time as possible in it because my ex husband was there. Given these circumstances, how could I even think about having a richer, more purposeful life?
A month after returning from South Africa, I was alone on a housesitting job over Thanksgiving weekend and I started thinking long and hard about my existence. And that’s just it. I was existing – not living. While my African safari was a fantastic experience, it was really just a “time out” from my situation at home. I thought what could I do, right then and there, with my computer at the dining room table to change just one thing? I remembered what my friend had told me in September … “Be authentic and speak from the heart.” At the time, it wasn’t really my style, but it was something I could do immediately, and, what I had been doing certainly wasn’t working.
Because my trip to Africa had touched me tremendously, the authentic online profile writing wasn’t as difficult as I had imagined in would be. In fact, words began pouring from my fingers and later that evening a new profile was in place. Messages started coming in immediately. There was one message that contained only a line, but its author became my husband exactly one year later!
Now don’t think the story is over because there’s much more to it. Things weren’t easy for quite a while because that one action step I took by posting an online profile with intention caused a chain reaction of events. Change was officially happening and there was no turning back.
Three weeks after I met my future husband in person, I moved in with him. This might sound shocking, however, we were both well out of our 20s and divorced and knew exactly what we wanted even if it was a bit of a risk so early on in the relationship. The move – and the supportive relationship — enabled me to leave my ex husband, rehome some of my cats and sell my house. It also enabled me to leave my job.
Once all this clean up work was complete, it was time to think about the set up work. What did we want as a couple? How did we want to live together moving forward? We decided we wanted a completely start fresh together. So we got engaged. We bought a house. And we got married – on the one-year anniversary of that first online communication.
Another warning … Please don’t think it was all hearts and flowers because this period was a lot of work as well. We actually got married six months before the actual ceremony because I had three cavities and no dental insurance. Romantic, indeed! However, after reviewing the finances, it was clear that there would be a significant savings in health expenses and car insurance if we got legally married immediately. We also completed three real estate transactions in a six-month period by selling our individual houses and buying one together. This is no small feet – nor is moving … especially since I was doing it twice in a year.
Finally, 18 months after we met, the set up was complete. We were settled into our new home, the legal – and romantic – weddings were complete and we were content. That is until I woke up one day and realized I had turned into an accidental housewife because, with everything that was happening, I never got back to my career.
And then I had a melt down.
I loved my husband and I loved our life together, but I have always been a creative free spirit with stories to tell and causes to promote. While it seemed appropriate for me to return to animal welfare, I was also being pulled toward some of my other interests such as meaningful travel and improvisational theater. So, in order for me to get that part of my brain moving again, I went to a retreat in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. While it didn’t produce that “Aha!” moment I so wanted, it did help to jump-start my creativity. In the months that followed, I began writing again. I sought out informational interviews with professionals in my areas of interest. I researched and I networked.
In the meantime, things were developing organically. I was getting a lot of positive feedback – from strangers – on my writing about mindful living. Friends were asking for help with their own online dating profiles. Both of the improvisational theater experiences I created were taking off … one having to do with my own life while the other being an unscripted romantic comedy about dating. And my husband and I traveled to a very remote eco-resort in the Bocas del Toro region of Panama, which appealed to my passion for ecotourism.
Then it hit me when I was wandering through an art bazaar one Sunday afternoon. I saw a piece that read, “Find your adventure.” My life had been one adventure after another for the past two years that began with one small act. By embracing adventure and authenticity, every aspect of my life changed – for the better. Was it possible to give other people the gift of adventure … people who may also be bogged down with life’s circumstances and responsibilities?
I’m about to find out!
In launching The Adventure Project, my hope is to connect the “Every Person” to relationship, travel and life adventures. I am that “Every Person.” I’ve experienced these kinds of adventures and know firsthand how beneficial they can be to becoming a more spirited individual. Now my purpose is to help others find their own adventures. I want to guide love seekers in creating authentic online dating profiles. I want to use improvisational theater as a tool for mindful living and self-development. I want to expose travelers to different kinds of meaningful experiences, so they can connect with other cultures while also connecting with themselves. I know that exploration can touch the spirit. Once our spirits are ignited, we all become more engaged global citizens.
Welcome to The Adventure Project — let’s find your adventure!
