Ten Good, Bad & Ugly Colombian Surprises

“We’re going to be in Colombia for ten weeks this summer, so why don’t you visit?” suggested my friend, Clayton, over pints at a Yorkshire pub during Memorial Day weekend.

Well that would be impossible. It was practically summer already. We had blown the budget on this trip to England. Plus, my husband, Chris, had no vacation time left. And then, the following week, I “found my adventure” when I realized we had one week open, there was (sort of) affordable airfare available via Spirit Airlines and Chris could work from the apartment Clayton and his wife, Brittany, were renting in Bogotá.

So, I purchased Lonely Planet Colombia, met with my Colombian realtor and read a few emails from Clayton and Brittany in the following weeks. And then it was time to board our red eye flight. Once landed, rested and somewhat oriented, I realized that my Spanish speaking skills were much better than my Spanish comprehension skills as had been the case over the years. For anyone that’s ever tried to learn a foreign language, this is surprising as usually it’s the opposite. For me this was normal. My surprises sprang up in other areas entirely. Some were good, some were bad and some were … well … ugly if you’ll pardon the cliche. All of them kept me on my toes, except for the first one …

1. The uneven – and hole infested – sidewalks. (Bad.) – During our stay, three of the four of us either tripped, or worse, lay sprawled out across the sidewalk in various neighborhoods in Bogotá. The city doesn’t maintain the sidewalk – the property owner does … or is supposed to anyway. Because of this, the sidewalk is a constant up and down activity with a little obstacle course in there, just for some added excitement. And, because manhole and utility covers are recycled for money, they are often “removed” and left … well … open. It’s best to wear sneakers while always looking down – but not at your phone – while strolling through the city.

2. The juices. (Good.) – There is no end to the different varieties of juices to taste in Colombia. Plus, you can try them with juice or with milk! The colors alone are amazing and give you the impression that you’re having dessert when in reality you’re just juicing.

3. The desserts. (Even better.) – And while on the subject of dessert, let me just say how much I adore the Colombian tradition of eating dessert whenever – and wherever – you feel like it. There are food carts selling Obleas (thin waffles stuffed with whatever goodies you like) or churros or ice cream. Even the McDonalds have windows featuring just dessert!

4. The buses. (Ugly.) – To experience a bus ride in Bogotá is like a test of endurance and will power and sucking in your gut all at once. Evidently the bus system is so successful that everyone uses it making buses jam-packed with 8.5 million-ish people daily. People push and shove to get on the bus. People push and shove to get off the bus. And then there are the people that do nothing but block the people getting on/off the bus, so they don’t lose their spots in the non-line to get the next bus. (Stick to taxis for a more humane experience, but, be sure they are the ones in network. Taxis out of network have been known to drive people to ATMs to “help them” obtain cab fare.)

5. The fruits and vegetables. (Good.) – Yes, I do realize I’m back on the topic of food. If you ever make it to a food market in Colombia, you’ll understand why. Don’t worry about not knowing the Spanish names of some of the fruits and vegetables featured because many of them don’t exist in English. It’s beautiful – to taste, to smell, to photograph. And, if you’re studying Spanish, be sure to photograph the item on your cell phone and send it to yourself with its Spanish name or else you’ll never remember it.

6. The uninspired architecture. (Bad-ish.) – The colonial areas (La Candelaria and Usaquén) of Bogotá are a photographer’s playground. Outside of that, you will see a lot of uninspiring apartment and office buildings as well as graffiti. Just remember, no matter where you venture, you will find amazing desserts!

7. The flowers. (Very good.) – Speaking of amazing … the flowers are like nothing you’ll see unless you visit Holland. The reason is that it’s big business! Three of four flowers sold in the United States are from Colombia. If you visit the Paloquemao Market, you can taste juices, see all the crazy fruits and vegetables and then stop and smell the flowers – literally. But, stay alert. There was a cart of sunflowers that I was gushing over and as I was preparing my camera, it left!

8. The security guards. (Good? Bad? You decide.) — Because of Colombia’s turbulent – and violent – history, there are security guards in businesses and on street corners. Although this is something you generally don’t see in the U.S. I wasn’t bothered by it until the reality of apartment building life became apparent. Although you carry a key to your apartment, you do not carry a key to your apartment building in Bogotá. Instead you gain access to the building via a security guard. What happens if he or she is sick, has a flat tire or just doesn’t show up for work? Good question!

9. The street art. (Good and bad.) – Bogotá has a vibrant street art scene which many local businesses and homeowners embrace. In fact, the street art has gained so much popularity that the Bogotá Graffiti Tour is the second most popular tourist activity in the city. (The Bogotá Bike Tour holds the #1 spot.) However, the dark side of this is the graffiti that isn’t art that you’ll see all over the city. Support the street art as the more that movement spreads, the less eye sore graffiti you’ll see.

1. The climate. (Good-ish.) – You may think that because you’re close to the equator, you’ll sizzle. However, the elevation in Bogotá is 8,660 feet! That means warm-ish days and cool-ish nights. I thought this was fantastic as a sweaty city of 8.5 million-ish people crowded onto city buses is a horrible situation that no one wants to experience. My husband didn’t listen to the warning about cool nights and was forced to purchase a sweater – still better than melting in a pool of sweat in a hole on the sidewalk though!

Honorable Mentions:

• The coffee is outstanding – OK, so this isn’t a surprise, but it needs to be said.
• The local crafts at the markets are gorgeous – especially the shoes as well as the shawls and ponchos.
• The sun rises and sets around 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. because of the proximity to the equator.
• Eating out is really affordable … so much so that I even looked at the bill in detail a few times to make sure we had received the right check.
• It does help if you know Spanish as not everyone speaks English.
• The salsa dancing is the real deal. If you can’t dance, at least take an evening to watch the locals.
• You can go to church in a salt mine just outside of the city … I’m still scratching my head over why you’d want to though.
• One of the most beautiful places you can visit easily from Bogotá is the colonial town of Villa de Leyva. Spend a night there – in fact, slow down and spend several nights there. Just remember to pack comfortable shoes, as the walking is treacherous because the cobblestones are the same ones used back in the day. (Bottom line – walking is no easy task no matter where you go!)

May you find your own adventure in and around Bogotá … just remember to watch where you walk!

For more information on planning a Colombian adventure, visit bookmundi – and be sure to send me a postcard!